Bump Check: Week 24

Bonjour, baby.  Bonjour, back pain.

Back pain, Phase I: About 2 months ago, I noticed a pinpointed pain in my middle back.  I figured it would go away, but alas, it did not.  I called my doctor, just to make sure this was nothing to worry about, and I was assured that is was probably just muscular pain from all of my ligaments and such shifting around.  Shortly after talking with my doctor, the pain got worse…bad enough that I bawled on the way home from dinner one night on the phone with Scott (What?  Me crying?  Nooooo….).  Fortunately, I found that one thing does make my back fill better – lying down.  This works great when I’m around a couch, but not so great when I’m at school.  Lucky for me, summer break has arrived!  Unfortunately for my students, there were a handful of times that I’d get them up and going on a project and then lay down on the floor of my classroom.  My students already comment on how weird I am, so this was no surprise to them. 

Back pain, Phase II: I went for a pre-natal massage with a delightful massage therapist.  I was, at first, slightly creeped out when she started massaging my stomach.  Imagine this, if you will.  You are lying naked on an elevated bed in a room with windows where the blinds are kind of shut.  You have a sheet over your lower half, and a sheet covering up your jubblies (or moobs [man boobs] if you’re a guy), and a stranger is slowly (perhaps seductively) rubbing lotion over your stomach.  This scenario could be one of three things: (1) extremely creepy/awkward (2) the start of a cheap porn called “Pre-natal Passions”, or (3) relaxing and comforting.  Lucky for me, the scenario was #3…oddly comforting.  After the massage, the therapist mentioned that part of what could be hurting me was having a rib out of place, and suggested to me a chiropractor that specializes in pre-natal, infant, and child chiropractics.  I called my doctor and she approved of the next phase on my back pain journey.  Join me…

Back pain, Phase III: I arrived at the chiropractor not knowing what to expect.  I’ve never been a knuckle/back popper, and I was a little leery of the idea.  I even asked my friend Kelsey (a chiropractic veteran) what to wear to the chiropractor.  She said anything, even jeans, but to avoid skirts or dresses so I don’t flash this nice chiropractor my naughty bits.  I’m sure everybody’s experience with a chiropractor is different, but I will say that this was not pleasant nor painful. I didn’t walk out feeling totally relieved and I never once felt hurt. I did, however, develop a crush on my lady chiropractor when she informed me that my spine was “pissed off”.  The chiropractor said to give it a few days and then call.  I went back in for a second treatment and she said that if the second visit didn’t fix it, she’d suggest a physical therapist.

Back pain, Phase IV [the final frontier]: My 24 week check up at the doctor was last week, so I mentioned to the doc that the chiropractor had suggested a physical therapist.  After some discussion, the doctor suggested I try a muscle relaxer, which she assured me was safe for the baby.  She said to take it for 48 hours to see if it made it feel any better.  Well, aside from possibly taking away some of the pain, the muscle relaxer also took away my personality.  No, seriously.  I was like a drone.  The weirdest part was that regular Michelle was still inside my head being quite social and slightly inappropriate (as usual), but outside Michelle looked like everything going on around her was the lamest thing she’s ever seen.  People would say things to me, I’d give them a one-word answer, and then regular Michelle in my head would be like, “You should have said more than that, but you didn’t.  You suck.  These people won’t be your friends for much longer.”  Then regular Michelle in my head probably cried about the thought of losing all of her friends to a lack-of-personality, but outside Michelle just sat and stared at the wall.  My sincerest apologies to Scott, my family, Kayla, Molly, Caleb, & Jason for witnessing Emotionless Michelle.  Please don't stop being my friend.

Back pain, conclusion: My muscle relaxer will sit in the medicine cabinet as a last resort.  I’ll take it before I climb a mountain, run a marathon, or build a house.  Other than that, I’d rather have regular Michelle on the inside and outside, who spends 80% of her life lying down.

P.S. Since I’m on summer break, feel free to come to my house and watch my lie on the couch.  It’s thrilling, I swear.

How far along: 24 weeks

Current fruit comparison: Eggplant (parmesan?)

Total weight gain/loss: I didn’t weigh myself this week…oops. J

Sleep: Still not an issue (knock on wood)

Best moment this week: The last day of school!

Movement: Yes, and I love it. I can’t wait for it to be harder for others to consistently feel.

Food cravings: Lemonade AND the cheese mix sandwich from Goodcents.  How did I not think of this before??  The best part of any Goodcents sandwich is obviously the mayo and lettuce mixture…and I can have it on a cheese sandwich.  Delightful. I’ve been 3 times in the last week.

Free food from students: I barely had any students, let alone free food.  I’ll be taking this category away for the next 2 months (oh darn).

What I miss: Jazzercise (what?!).  I can barely walk a block without my back hating me, let alone jump around and enjoy Jazzercise.

Milestones: My favorite baby tidbit from the What to Expect book this week tells me that baby girls nostrils had plugs in them until now.  She has nostrils!  I love it.  I can’t wait until we start sticking french fries up our noses together.