Bump Check: Week 32

Today I’m feeling very busy with house cleaning, nursery organizing, and lesson planning…because I go back to school on MONDAY!  What?!  Students start the following week, so I’ve got to get my butt in gear!

Today’s blog post is not for you, dear reader.  It is for my lady parts.  She doesn’t mind if you eaves drop.

Alright girlfriend, less than 8 weeks to go.  You’re feeling pretty normal right now, I’m sure. But you’re probably tired of toilet paper…I know I’m peeing a lot more, but wiping is important.  Consider the alternative.  Pee…drip-dry…you embarrassingly leaking onto my undies.  Not good for your social standing.  I know you’re nervous about squeezing a human out of you.  Don’t be.  People do it ALL the time and I hear it’s super painless and you definitely won’t tear or require stitches. Okay, I can’t lie. You might tear…and you might need a little sewing job to get you up to snuff, but you’ll do great.  I understand that after the baby comes, you’re going to feel…well…not you’re best.  Physically, I think you’ll look pretty ugly. I mean that with love. I will always love you, vagina, but I won’t want to hang out with you for a while after the delivery. Also, I’ll do my best to keep you groomed over the next two months.  I can’t see you anymore, so this could provide a challenge, but I have resources and I know that you want to look good, especially because we’ll be video taping you during the whole delivery and streaming it live on the internet…SIKE!  J/k BFF, I wouldn’t embarrass you like that.  Now I think we can both agree that not having a period for 7 months has been great. This does NOT mean you need to make up for it by bleeding excessively after the baby comes.  That’s up to you though. Just remember all the good times we’ve had…don’t let me down.  Now, I want to take care of you, so in my pregnancy bible, it has listed a few things I can do post-partum to make sure you’re a happy girl.  Here are my thoughts on a few of those suggestions:

• “Ice it”: I’ve been told to put some pads in the freezer for after the delivery because a cold pad can make you feel better.  This is in no way me giving you the cold shoulder…rather a cool sense of relief from all that hard work you’re going to do.
• “Keep your hands off the area until healing is complete”: sorry, vagina. I guess we can’t have thumb wars or play patty cake for awhile.  You can still text me though.
• “Warm baths”: This would require me cleaning my bathtub good enough to want to sit in it…so don’t count on this one.

Mmmkay lady parts…now relax and enjoy the next few weeks because life will never be quite the same.  Smooches! 

How far along: 32 weeks

Current fruit comparison: 19”, 4.5lbs…a honeydew!  Now that’s sweet.

Total weight gain/loss: +25…no change from last week. Phew!

Sleep: It’s alright.  I’m not physically uncomfortable, but lately I have been waking up in the middle of the night for a couple of hours.  Usually I’m just thinking about baby stuff or lesson planning.  Surprise surprise!

Best moment this week: Watching the baby blink on the sonogram! A super fun baby shower in Topeka with many of the important people in my life!

Movement: She’s on the move!  Sometimes I just sit with my shirt up to expose my belly so I can just watch her move.  It’s pretty awesome. I don’t usually do this in public, or I get kicked out of places.

Food cravings: Ice water still! In fact, I’ve started filling up a thermos and just carrying it around the house.  Jealous?

What I miss: Not having pit sweat stains on every single outfit I wear.  7 months pregnant + heat advisory + a love of wearing gray = social suicide

Milestones: I now have more baby in my belly than amniotic fluid.  Rockin’!