So now that I'm well into my 3rd trimester, our chats with my OB are less about pregnancy and more about birth. Did you know babies come out of your vagina?! Nobody told me that. I thought they came out of your belly button. Apparently that's not the case.
As of now, I don't have many specific fears about giving birth, mostly because I don't think about it a lot. I'm consuming my brain with baby showers, crib bedding, and other fun things. One concern I do have, however, is what I'm going to alliteratively term "Passing Out while Pushing". From here on out, this term will be referred to as POWP. Nice ring to it, do you think? Please do not get this term confused with Passing Out while Pooping. Let me clarify.
My senior year of college, I began passing out on occasion. There were only two times I recall falling flat on the ground, having a full-on fainting scenario. The other times I was sitting or lying down and would black out for a few seconds and then come back around. The first time I full-on fainted, I was at Scott's apartment. I remember waking up and he was very vigorously asking me what he should do, but all I could think was, "I think I'm going to puke," and I couldn't really talk. I have since reminded Scott at least three times that when I go into labor, he's not allowed to ask me what to do. If he does, the baby might reach out and punch him.
After a trip to the ER, it was suggested that I make an appointment with a cardiologist, so I did. They did some basic assessments of my heart and blood pressure. There was one super weird test they did that to me seemed very caveman-esque. It's called a tilt table test. Pretty much you lie down on a bed in a hospital gown, and they strap your whole body to the bed (imagine Frankenstein, but with me on the table instead. So....a smaller, female Frankenstein with a fro). They turn the lights down and play soft music and monitor your heart and blood pressure for about 30 minutes. Then all of a sudden, they sit the table up straight (you're still strapped to it), and they measure your vital signs. I, of course, passed out as they expected I would. Bottom line is I pretty much just have low blood pressure. So low that sometimes my body can't keep up with my movements. Luckily this issue comes and goes and isn't around all the time. My concern, however, has resurfaced as labor looms.
Men, here is where your part of this weekly bump check ends. You may now enjoy yourself here or perhaps here. We will definitely not be discussing pooping while you're gone because, as a reminder, girls don't poop. Thank you for reading and have a great week!
Ladies, I've totally blacked out while pooping. Pants down, on the toilet, need to wipe, pass out. This is what doctor's call a vasovagal response. I call it Passing Out while Pooping. Now, I've been told that pushing while you're in labor is similar to pushing while pooping, therefore, I'm a little concerned about POWP. I told my doctor my concern and she said they'd make sure I stay hydrated and just monitor everything when we get there.
Because I'm an optimist, I'm going to turn POWP into a Positive (oooo, more P's!). I'm going to just tell myself that if I do POWP, I'm going to wake up to the sound of my sweet husband's voice as he hands me a baby that has been born without me feeling anything. She will be swaddle and adorable and will definitely not be covered in any weird cervical or placenta chunklets. Additionally, somebody will have brought some Tortilla Jack's into the recovery room.
How far along: 31 weeks
Current fruit comparison: 19”, 3.9lbs…umm, still apparently a head of lettuce? Really? This question is just starting to get ridiculous.
Total weight gain/loss: +25…uhhh…I’m pretty sure that’s what I’m supposed to gain during the whole pregnancy. Oops?
Sleep: Excellent! I haven’t been napping the last week, which I think is helping me sleep even better at night.
Best moment this week: A wonderful baby shower with Scott’s family…it was so fun and helped me start to feel more prepared for the baby!
Movement: This week, she moved, and then Scott and I were pretty sure we could push on my stomach and feel an appendage.
Food cravings: Ice water….ice water…ice water! Cereal with cold milk…apparently cold liquids in general. Oh, and I’ve been drinking lots of ice cold beer…badum ching!
What I miss: Walking outside. Scott and I love to take walks, especially in the evening when we can creepily see inside people’s windows. It’s too hot right now and my rib starts to hurt after about 10 minutes (boo).
Milestones: Baby’s skin is no longer see through - bonus!
3 comments:
I will volunteer to bring the TJs. Yep, I'm that selfless. Because I don't even like that place.
that tilt table test sounds like hell. for real? rude.
and that's too bad about the baby's skin no longer being see-through. you could have made some bank on that.
Don't POWP! You need to be awake to yell really loud while pushing YRLWP!
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