Bump Check: Week 33

I would consider myself to be a relatively organized person.  Many of my friends have witnessed this characteristic in various aspects of my life.

• I have a variety of organized notebooks with dividers (specific dividers only available at Office Max…none of that yellow divider with golden edges crap). 
• My classroom lessons, activities, etc are very organized and I move around quickly usually knowing exactly what I want to do next.
• My calendar -- my time management system is a combination of a Google calendar, my Vera Bradley paper planner, and some sweet tips from Franklin Covey.
• Road trips: If I have an excuse to use a spreadsheet, I probably will.  [See picture below] 

As my husband knows all too well, there are areas where I am SO not organized (aka…STUFF).  I’m organized with my time and getting things done, but STUFF like clothes, dishes, etc…I don’t really care as much about.  I think I’m in nesting mode, however, because I’ve been trying to organize my stuff better.  With my rib issue going on, it’s been hard to move as quickly as I would like, but I’m trying!  When I heard about some pregnant women making meals to freeze for the weeks right after the baby is born, I thought, “I can SO get on board with that!”  Yes, it would be extremely convenient, but more importantly, doing this would just make me feel super cute and planner-ish.  An opportunity to feel super cute at 7+ months pregnant in August?  DONE.  Fact: I sweat a lot.  Fact: My students will point this out when they show up to school on Monday.  Me no feel cute.

Anyway, back to cooking.  My mom being awesome came up to help for this frozen meal extravaganza.  We were an excellent team.  I managed assembling all the recipes and cooking anything on the stove.  Mom chopped veggies like nobody’s business.  She shredded chicken like a pro.  She sang along to Michael Buble like the sassy lady she is.  I…love…my…mom.  We finished 4 of the 7 of the recipes I chose before we clearly needed a food and shopping break.  After shopping, my rib decided it was done for the day, so Mom cleaned up the kitchen while I lied on the couch.  Really??  She spoils me.

I had two cookbooks I used and picked 7 recipes.  I ended up using this cookbook waaaay more than this one.  Look at the cuteness below!  The deep freeze we bought 4 years ago is finally getting used.

P.S. I’m back to school this week, so my bump picture is me in a school shirt from today.  I’m smokin’ hot, I know.

P.P.S. Students start Monday, so get ready to hear some of their ridiculous pregnancy comments.  Two from last week’s dance camp: “Ms. Dicus! You ain’t got yo’ pregnancy waddle yet!” and "Whoa! Your cheeks got chubby!"

How far along: 33 weeks

Current fruit comparison: Somewhere between 19” - 22”, 4.9lbs, a pineapple!  I can get behind that.

Total weight gain/loss: +24.6…apparently I lost weight this week?  Certainly not trying to.

Sleep: Pretty good.  I can’t nap anymore now that I’m back in school, so maybe that’ll help me sleep through the night!

Best moment this week: Cooking with my mama and doing some serious nursery nesting with my husband on Saturday morning.

Movement: My busy baby bee moves a lot, so much in fact that I wonder if other people notice my stomach moving around all crazy-style.

Food cravings: Nothing too odd.  I have still been eating a lot of cereal.  Currently into Hy-Vee brand Fruity Pebbles.

What I miss: Eating something, then lying down right away.  Now this gives me some serious heartburn!

Milestones: The nursery is painted & new window treatments are up!  It makes me very happy.  I love it.

Bump Check: Week 32

Today I’m feeling very busy with house cleaning, nursery organizing, and lesson planning…because I go back to school on MONDAY!  What?!  Students start the following week, so I’ve got to get my butt in gear!

Today’s blog post is not for you, dear reader.  It is for my lady parts.  She doesn’t mind if you eaves drop.

Alright girlfriend, less than 8 weeks to go.  You’re feeling pretty normal right now, I’m sure. But you’re probably tired of toilet paper…I know I’m peeing a lot more, but wiping is important.  Consider the alternative.  Pee…drip-dry…you embarrassingly leaking onto my undies.  Not good for your social standing.  I know you’re nervous about squeezing a human out of you.  Don’t be.  People do it ALL the time and I hear it’s super painless and you definitely won’t tear or require stitches. Okay, I can’t lie. You might tear…and you might need a little sewing job to get you up to snuff, but you’ll do great.  I understand that after the baby comes, you’re going to feel…well…not you’re best.  Physically, I think you’ll look pretty ugly. I mean that with love. I will always love you, vagina, but I won’t want to hang out with you for a while after the delivery. Also, I’ll do my best to keep you groomed over the next two months.  I can’t see you anymore, so this could provide a challenge, but I have resources and I know that you want to look good, especially because we’ll be video taping you during the whole delivery and streaming it live on the internet…SIKE!  J/k BFF, I wouldn’t embarrass you like that.  Now I think we can both agree that not having a period for 7 months has been great. This does NOT mean you need to make up for it by bleeding excessively after the baby comes.  That’s up to you though. Just remember all the good times we’ve had…don’t let me down.  Now, I want to take care of you, so in my pregnancy bible, it has listed a few things I can do post-partum to make sure you’re a happy girl.  Here are my thoughts on a few of those suggestions:

• “Ice it”: I’ve been told to put some pads in the freezer for after the delivery because a cold pad can make you feel better.  This is in no way me giving you the cold shoulder…rather a cool sense of relief from all that hard work you’re going to do.
• “Keep your hands off the area until healing is complete”: sorry, vagina. I guess we can’t have thumb wars or play patty cake for awhile.  You can still text me though.
• “Warm baths”: This would require me cleaning my bathtub good enough to want to sit in it…so don’t count on this one.

Mmmkay lady parts…now relax and enjoy the next few weeks because life will never be quite the same.  Smooches! 

How far along: 32 weeks

Current fruit comparison: 19”, 4.5lbs…a honeydew!  Now that’s sweet.

Total weight gain/loss: +25…no change from last week. Phew!

Sleep: It’s alright.  I’m not physically uncomfortable, but lately I have been waking up in the middle of the night for a couple of hours.  Usually I’m just thinking about baby stuff or lesson planning.  Surprise surprise!

Best moment this week: Watching the baby blink on the sonogram! A super fun baby shower in Topeka with many of the important people in my life!

Movement: She’s on the move!  Sometimes I just sit with my shirt up to expose my belly so I can just watch her move.  It’s pretty awesome. I don’t usually do this in public, or I get kicked out of places.

Food cravings: Ice water still! In fact, I’ve started filling up a thermos and just carrying it around the house.  Jealous?

What I miss: Not having pit sweat stains on every single outfit I wear.  7 months pregnant + heat advisory + a love of wearing gray = social suicide

Milestones: I now have more baby in my belly than amniotic fluid.  Rockin’!

Bump Check: Week 31

So now that I'm well into my 3rd trimester, our chats with my OB are less about pregnancy and more about birth.  Did you know babies come out of your vagina?!  Nobody told me that.  I thought they came out of your belly button.  Apparently that's not the case.

As of now, I don't have many specific fears about giving birth, mostly because I don't think about it a lot.  I'm consuming my brain with baby showers, crib bedding, and other fun things.  One concern I do have, however, is what I'm going to alliteratively term "Passing Out while Pushing".  From here on out, this term will be referred to as POWP.  Nice ring to it, do you think?  Please do not get this term confused with Passing Out while Pooping.  Let me clarify.

My senior year of college, I began passing out on occasion.  There were only two times I recall falling flat on the ground, having a full-on fainting scenario.  The other times I was sitting or lying down and would black out for a few seconds and then come back around.  The first time I full-on fainted, I was at Scott's apartment.  I remember waking up and he was very vigorously asking me what he should do, but all I could think was, "I think I'm going to puke," and I couldn't really talk.  I have since reminded Scott at least three times that when I go into labor, he's not allowed to ask me what to do.  If he does, the baby might reach out and punch him.

After a trip to the ER, it was suggested that I make an appointment with a cardiologist, so I did.  They did some basic assessments of my heart and blood pressure.  There was one super weird test they did that to me seemed very caveman-esque.  It's called a tilt table test.  Pretty much you lie down on a bed in a hospital gown, and they strap your whole body to the bed (imagine Frankenstein, but with me on the table instead.  So....a smaller, female Frankenstein with a fro).  They turn the lights down and play soft music and monitor your heart and blood pressure for about 30 minutes.  Then all of a sudden, they sit the table up straight (you're still strapped to it), and they measure your vital signs.  I, of course, passed out as they expected I would.  Bottom line is I pretty much just have low blood pressure.  So low that sometimes my body can't keep up with my movements.  Luckily this issue comes and goes and isn't around all the time.  My concern, however, has resurfaced as labor looms.

Men, here is where your part of this weekly bump check ends.  You may now enjoy yourself here or perhaps here.  We will definitely not be discussing pooping while you're gone because, as a reminder, girls don't poop.  Thank you for reading and have a great week!

Ladies, I've totally blacked out while pooping.  Pants down, on the toilet, need to wipe, pass out.  This is what doctor's call a vasovagal response.  I call it Passing Out while Pooping.  Now, I've been told that pushing while you're in labor is similar to pushing while pooping, therefore, I'm a little concerned about POWP.  I told my doctor my concern and she said they'd make sure I stay hydrated and just monitor everything when we get there.

Because I'm an optimist, I'm going to turn POWP into a Positive (oooo, more P's!).  I'm going to just tell myself that if I do POWP, I'm going to wake up to the sound of my sweet husband's voice as he hands me a baby that has been born without me feeling anything.  She will be swaddle and adorable and will definitely not be covered in any weird cervical or placenta chunklets.  Additionally, somebody will have brought some Tortilla Jack's into the recovery room.

How far along: 31 weeks

Current fruit comparison: 19”, 3.9lbs…umm, still apparently a head of lettuce?  Really?  This question is just starting to get ridiculous.

Total weight gain/loss: +25…uhhh…I’m pretty sure that’s what I’m supposed to gain during the whole pregnancy.  Oops?

Sleep: Excellent!  I haven’t been napping the last week, which I think is helping me sleep even better at night.

Best moment this week: A wonderful baby shower with Scott’s family…it was so fun and helped me start to feel more prepared for the baby!

Movement: This week, she moved, and then Scott and I were pretty sure we could push on my stomach and feel an appendage.

Food cravings: Ice water….ice water…ice water!  Cereal with cold milk…apparently cold liquids in general.  Oh, and I’ve been drinking lots of ice cold beer…badum ching!

What I miss: Walking outside.  Scott and I love to take walks, especially in the evening when we can creepily see inside people’s windows.  It’s too hot right now and my rib starts to hurt after about 10 minutes (boo).

Milestones: Baby’s skin is no longer see through - bonus!

Bump Check: Week 30

I thought I would update you on ridiculous things that have made me cry lately because (1) I’m trying to provide those of you that need it with a free form of birth control and (2) if I don’t laugh at myself, then I might cry again.

• Close to tears/anxiety attack: We went to Nebraska Furniture Mart this week to pick out a chair for the nursery.  For some reason, the decorating of this room has made me anxious. I’ve figured out it’s because I haven’t really decorated other rooms in our house…they’ve just sort of come together out of what we already have and what I like at the River Market Antique Mall on my last trip.  Poor Scott had to encourage me to sit down and drink some of my bottled water as I was fanning myself out of sheer overwhelmth (That’s a word, I’m sure.  Look it up.  No, don’t look it up.  Just use it in your next conversation.  Ooo, blog challenge!)
• An episode of Tosh.0 where the host quickly mentions putting a baby down a garbage disposal.  In fact, not only did I cry, but I turned off the TV, threw the remote on the other side of the couch, then I cried.  Scott just sat quietly until his normal wife was back.  Then we watched Jeopardy.  I did not cry at Jeopardy (yet).
• I decided to buy a can of Pillsbury cinnamon rolls (mmmm) which I’ve made many times.  I made them on a weekend and asked Scott if he wanted to eat them in bed or downstairs.  He requested in bed, so I put them on a tray with some milk and wet paper towels (I was very prepared).  We sit down in bed to eat them and we both take our first bite.  They’re pretty doughy (which I’m totally into), but Scott doesn’t really love doughy stuff as much.  He’s slowly eating his, not being rude or bratty or anything…and I bust into tears because apparently “I can’t do anything right, not even make a frreakin’ can of cinnamon rolls the way you like.”  Scott, who again is the kindest person in town, tried to comfort me as he forced himself to finish a squishy cinnamon roll and take one more.  I have a very wonderful and patient husband.
• Lastly, at least twice a week I cry at this commercial:

 How far along: 30 weeks

Current fruit comparison: A cold, crisp head of lettuce weighing in at 3.2lbs.  She measures around 18” for head to toe.

Total weight gain/loss: +23

Sleep: Good as of late! Though it’s been super hot around these parts lately, about 2 years ago we installed a window unit air conditioner in our bedroom. I whined about it at first because I thought it was ugly, but it’s really no big deal and is SO worth it!

Best moment this week: Baby ate some good food at Emily & Preston’s house. I also enjoyed some wonderful time with my mama after not seeing her for a full week!

Movement: She’s moving a lot, especially at night and after I eat.  Another classic Scott response to her movement: “Maybe she's having some friends over. Did you feel anything else?”

Food cravings: ICE WATER! I don’t know if it’s the heat or what, but I’m loving it. Only a couple of times have I had a ridiculous amount, but more than just drinking it, I’m very verbal about how delicious it is.  Scott has heard “I love water” at least once a day for the last two weeks after a big gulp of some cold deliciousness.

What I miss: Feeling pretty content as of late!  Though I do whine occasionally about my rib (surprise, surprise).

Milestones: For some reason, I’ve just been waiting to say that I’m “30 weeks”…because in the 30 sounds so far along!

Bump Check: Week 29

There are a few things in life that have made me feel like a grown up.  They’re probably not things you’re imagining (such as graduating from college, getting married, or being pregnant).  Things that have made me feel like a grown up include:

• Getting the oil changed in my car without taking someone with me to do the talking
• Buying my first piece of furniture (The Snuggler…you are a special person if you’ve sat in this giant beast of a chair)
• Going out to dinner alone while traveling alone for business (and I drove MY rental car there – BOO YAH)
• Picking my own doctor.  Let’s take a closer look at this important moment in my “adult” life.

Once girls reach a certain age (or have some other factors going on), your annual physical exam also includes someone peering into your naughty cavern.  When I was in college, I went in for a physical with a doctor I had never been to.  Here is how the conversation went, as I remember it…

Doctor: Are you currently sexually active?

Me: No.

Doctor: Have you had a past history of sexual activity?

Me: No.

Doctor: Oh! Well, today we’ll be doing a pelvic exam and pap smear and it will probably be quite uncomfortable for you.

Me: Oh, ok. Where’s my mommy?!  Can I get out of here?  Surely there’s a way around this.  I’m a good person.  I don’t deserve this.

Doctor: I’ll have a nurse in the room during the exam to hold your hand.

Me: Oh, ok. Could this please get MORE awkward?  That’d be great.

Doctor: These are the instruments I’ll be using.

Me: Oh, ok. Ma’am, that giant cotton swab is way too big for my ear.  That’s for my ear, right?

Point being, homegirl took something that doesn’t need to be a big deal and made it a HUGE freakin’ awkward deal in my mind.  When I moved to KC in 2007, I decided I should probably get a doctor and have a physical, but was obviously a bit nervous about it.  I needed to find a doctor, so I put on my big girl pants and figured out how to log onto my health insurance provider’s website.  Then I picked a doctor based on one very important criterion: their name.  Yup.  That’s right.  I searched close to the area Scott and I were planning to buy a house and then just picked whoever I thought had the best name.  That is why my doctor is Dr. Winkler.  Best name ever, right??  Wink wink wink winky winker wink wink.  Dr. Winkler has turned out to be a wonderful doctor and my annual exam is no big deal.  When Scott and I decided we were ready to procreate, I decided I should probably get an OB-GYN (which in my mind is a vagina doctor…but I know that’s a slight generalization).  I asked Dr. Winkler to suggest someone and told her the criteria I was looking for: (1) female (2) positive/funny (3) makes me feel like she knows what she’s talking about yet hasn’t already said the same thing to 50 other patients that day.  Dr. Winkler was spot on with her recommendation.  Scott and I both love our OB.

We have to fill out pre-registration paperwork for the maternity area at the hospital we’re going to deliver, and on the paperwork was a spot to list the baby’s pediatrician.  I had no idea who to use, so I just asked my OB who she would recommend, giving her the same three criteria I gave Dr. Winkler.  I made another adult move this week – picked a pediatrician for our baby!  What the heck??  I’m such a grown up!  I’m excited because the doctor’s office is literally 3 minutes from our house, has walk-in hours every day, and is even smart enough to have two waiting rooms (one for sick kids and one for well kids).  The separate waiting room concept is probably not unique, but to someone who hasn’t been in a pediatrician’s office in many years, it seemed GENIUS to me.  Anywho, we met with the pediatrician this last week and really liked her!  So it’s official.

Side note for my dad: Pap smears are still VERY uncomfortable because I’m still not sexually active.  XOXO, Princess

How far along: 29 weeks

Current fruit comparison: Our little butternut squash, at 17in and 3.1lbs!

Total weight gain/loss: +21

Sleep: Still sometimes waking up at 4am and staying up for a couple hours, but I’m never physically uncomfortable, so that’s good!

Best moment this week: Celebrating my mom’s b-day in Top City and garage sale day with Aly.  We found some great bargains!

Movement: She’s a busy bee!  Scott’s latest hypothesis?  “She’s composing a symphony.”

Food cravings: I bought grape juice at the grocery store this week, mostly because juice has sounded good my whole pregnancy, but lemonade has started to give me some serious heartburn.  Rude!

What I miss: Having lots of clothes to choose from!  Though I have some AH-dorable maternity clothes, I seem to go to the same 3 dresses everyday because they’re comfortable and let a little breeze in.

Milestones: Scott, myself, the body pillow, and my pregnancy wedge pillow all slept comfortably in a full-size bed while at my parents.  I consider that a milestone!

Bump Check: Week 28

Last week we were lucky enough to have another sonogram.  We’ve had some extra than normal because of some weirdo things going on with me.  Warning: weirdo pregnancy/womanly words ahead. At my 20 week appointment where we found out we were having a little girl, the sonographer was a little concern that my placenta was covering up my cervix, meaning that my placenta would have been in the baby’s way of heading out of my uterus.  This would mean that I’d definitely have to have a c-section.  She said this issue comes up in a lot of pregnancies but that it usually fixes itself, but they’d want to do another sonogram in a few weeks to see if my placenta had moved.  Soooo, last week was the “has my placenta moved” sonogram and *BONUS, we got to see the baby again!  The sonographer said that my placenta had moved and everything look good, so then we just proceeded to watch the baby for awhile. 

Baby girl was super chill.  The sonographer put the wand on my belly and almost immediately we saw that the baby had her arm rested about her head and let out a really big (and adorable) yawn.  In fact, during the sonogram, she yawned a total of 3 times.  We must have woken her up from a nap!  The sonographer wanted to try to get the baby to rotate so she could get a good profile view for us, however the baby was quite comfortable where she was.  At this stage, you should be able to poke around your belly or make loud noises and occasionally get the baby to react. Scott figured that if they wanted the baby to move, they’d get out another fancy baby wand and send some pulses to the baby or something.  Not true.  From out of nowhere, the sonographer starts vigorously smacking my stomach with a cowbell.  No joke.

Another fun thing we saw on the sonogram was the baby’s hair!  Now any girl out there with curly hair can probably agree that at one point in their life, they wish they had straight hair.  My mother understood this as I grew up because she too is a curly lady.  In fact, through all of middle school and part of high school, my mom used a crazy blow dryer with a brush attachment to straighten my afro.  My hair would get so hot that she’d have to wear handbell gloves to keep her hands from burning.  Now that’s love.  I suspect someday I’ll have to do the same thing with our baby girl, because I’m sure in her head, she’ll feel like she looks like this:

Can you believe I've never had a class in Photoshop? I'm such a natural talent!

Because I complained about my hair a lot, my mom would try to make me feel happier about it by saying, “Michelle, when I was pregnant with you, I would always pray for a little girl with brown, curly hair, and God gave you to me!”  Once a week for the next year, I prayed for a little girl with beautiful flowing hair just like Rainbow Brite’s. I didn’t want it to be blonde however.  I wanted it to be rainbow like Rainbow Brite’s horse, Starlite.  So, for a sneak preview, here’s what Baby Dicus will most likely look like, because I’m sure God will deliver:

Baby Dicus -- what dreams are made of

How far along: 28 weeks

Current fruit comparison: She’s 17” from head to toe and weights about 2.9lbs. Her size rivals that of a small cabbage.

Total weight gain/loss: At the doctor this week, I was up 20lbs (no change from last week), but I didn’t weigh today and am now too lazy to get off the couch and go see some giant number on the scale.  Plus, I’m anxiously awaiting Scott’s arrival home with a Goodcents sandwich.  I can’t be bothered with weighing myself right now.

Sleep: The last week I’ve woken up at 4am about three or four days and stayed up for awhile (lame).  My newest sleeping pattern this week is wake up really early, eat some early breakfast, and then fall back asleep on the couch for awhile.  Today, I got TWO naps!  I love summer.

Best moment this week: Our sonogram!

Movement: This week, she seriously did some Thumper thing on my stomach like from Bambi.  It was like, “rat-ta-tat-tat”, and my stomach fat jiggled like crazy!  I love this girl.

Food cravings: This week – 2% or whole milk (specifically Shatto root beer milk – mmm!)

What I miss: Riding/Driving in a car without having to lean the seat back really far, big pimpin’ style.  However, riding that way helps my rib not hurt as much as sitting upright.

Milestones: The baby gave her first gift!  She gave her dad a remote controlled helicopter for his 27^th birthday.  She’s so thoughtful, and apparently already has an Amazon account!

Bump Check: Week 27

If you’ve been around me for an extended period of time in the last couple of weeks, chances are you’ve heard me talk about the baby moving.  That’s because she moves pretty frequently and it still feels so weird (yet awesome)!  Don’t think that just because I’m the pregnant one that this is normal to me.  Imagine there was a small person rolling in your belly.  You would probably tell everybody about it too.

For a long time, I could only feel her kick or punch, but now I feel her move and tumble around too.  When Scott’s around and she’s moving a lot, I usually say to him, “She’s a busy girl,” or something to that effect.  Sometimes I ask Scott what he thinks she’s doing in there.  Some of his responses have included:

(1) “She’s doing some feng shui.”

(2) “She’s building an ark. I’d wondered where my lumber has been going.”

(3) “She’s updating her Twitter.”

Here are some of the things I like to imagine the baby is doing:

• Hanging up some framed pictures on my uterine wall
• Backing that thang up (à la a 1999 music video)
• Bowling (and my bladder is the one pin)
• Baking something for me…perhaps a delicious pie.  Mmmm….pie….

Also, if you’ve been around me for an extended period of time in the last, oh…3 months, surely you’ve heard me whine about my back/rib area and/or push my hand a lot on the top of my belly to make my rib feel a bit better.  The pain consumes my brain a lot and it makes me feel like a crazy pregnant lady.  I also feel crazy because no ladies I know personally have experienced this type of pregnancy pain, just a few random ladies on some pregnancy forums.  Though this isn’t true (and nobody in my life has made me feel this way), sometimes I tell myself that people around me think, “Suck it up Michelle.  You’re only 6 months pregnant.  Your second trimester is supposed to be the most comfortable.  This didn’t happen when my friend and cousin were pregnant.  Stop whining.” 

Then I remember what my pregnancy bible says – no two women's symptoms are the same…everybody is different.  I remembered this especially during this last weekend as we watched my father-in-law complete an Ironman triathlon in Coeur d’Alene, Idaho (where I felt especially guilty for whining about some rib pain…these people just swam 2.4 miles, biked 112 miles, and then topped it off with a marathon).  If everyone was created equal, all 2700 people completing the triathlon would have ended at exactly the same time and felt exactly the same way when they got to the finish line, but that’s just ridiculous (and would also make for a lot of elbows in the face during the event).  Variations in pregnancy bodies is no different – this 9 month journey is unique to each individual. 

As I sit here on the couch after a nap and some Ben & Jerry’s ice cream, I would like to reiterate how I just sort of compared being pregnant to being a triathlete, except instead of getting elbowed in the face while swimming in a freezing cold lake, I’m getting elbowed in the spleen while eating some freezing cold ice cream.  Very similar.

How far along: 27 weeks

Current fruit comparison: She’s 16” from head to toe and weights about 2.5lbs.  Apparently she’s as big as a head of cauliflower…with ranch dressing?

Total weight gain/loss: +20lbs, following another vacation getaway, I consider this a victory.

Sleep: Not a problem!  I hope this pattern continues.

Best moment this week: A wonderful mini-baby shower at Tortilla Jack’s with Amanda & Kelli (and Sarah in spirit)!  Also, baby’s last flight as a fetus.  I’m sure flying with an infant will be WAY easier than flying with a fetus (badum ching)!

Movement: Lots of movement. I try to take videos of my belly moving, but I think she gets camera shy.

Food cravings: Same old – Goodcents, pasta…really most things I craved before I was pregnant.

What I miss: Sitting without my torso feeling like it’s on fire.  Boo.

Milestones: Starting my 3^rd trimester!

Bump Check: Week 26

So we spent the first week of summer at the beach with my family, which was wonderful.  What was I dreading?  Putting all extra 19lbs of me in a bathing suit and strutting my stuff around a public beach.

Rewind to every time I swimsuit shopped prior to being pregnant: I’m sure I cried in the dressing room.  I’m also sure my mom has witnessed this every time.

Fast forward to maternity swimsuit shopping: I took my mom because moms know best and she doesn’t judge me when I try on swimsuits with spiky armpits.  We went to Destination Maternity in the One Nineteen shopping center.  [Side note: There are not very many cute maternity clothing stores.  I swear, there’s like 3 or so.  This place had some pretty cute stuff though.] 

I haven’t bought a two-piece swimming suit since 1997 (it was neon orange…jealous?).  Though my husband makes me feel wonderful about my pregnancy body, no amount of self-confidence could make me wear a two-piece swimming suit.  Tankinis also don’t work very well if you have love handles (and I do, thank you very much).  So Mom and I ended up focusing on one-piece maternity suits.  It seriously took only 2 minutes for my mood to change in that dressing room.  Normally, it only takes 2 minutes for me to start crying, but this time, it took 2 minutes and I was clapping with delight!  Probably starting in college, I would try on swimming suits, look in the mirror, and say, “Ugh, I look pregnant.”  This time as I shopped, I put on a swimming suit, looked in the mirror, and said, “Yay! I look pregnant!”  It made a huge difference in the process.  I’m sure I wasn’t really showing too much at the time we bought the swimming suit and most of my “baby belly” was just ranch dressing, but it made me feel better. 

Sorry to disappoint, but we don’t have a picture of me in my maternity suit from the beach.  Really, I don’t think I would have minded!  We just didn’t take many pictures, mostly because we did the same thing every day, so unless you want to see 10 pictures of me Sudokuing, 10 pictures of Scott napping, and 10 pictures of my family playing cards, then you can’t complain.  I can’t find my exact suit online anymore, but it sort of looks like this one, only my suit was $30, not $100.  Even better!  Oh, my suit also has ruffles on it, cause that’s how I roll.

In conclusion, maternity swimsuit shopping is SO much better than regular swimsuit shopping.  Talk to me about swimsuits in about a year.  I’ll probably punch you in the face…then cry.

Note: After Scott took this picture, I looked at it and said, "Oh my gosh. I'm REALLY pregnant!"

How far along: 26 weeks

Current fruit comparison: Now instead of measuring baby head to butt, we measure head to toe, so she’s 15” and 2.2lbs.  Supposedly she’s now a cucumber…but a 15” cucumber?  That’s just gross.

Total weight gain/loss: +19…no change from last week, which is great.  I don’t think my body wanted to gain weight that quickly.

Sleep: Pretty good…have to pee a lot now as baby gets bigger and naps on my bladder.  She’s totally worth it.

Best moment this week: The paras at the high school I worked out last year planned a surprise baby shower for me! I thought I was meeting up with this for lunch, but it was a shower (complete with a tiara for me).  Awesome.

Movement: She is super busy! I used to let Scott know every time I felt her move, but now I would be bothering him at work all day.  She’s busiest when I’m just sitting still.  I think she just gets used to me moving around and so when I stop, she’s like, “Hey lady!  Keep your butt in gear!”

Food cravings: Goodcents cheese mix sandwich on wheat with cheddar and provolone.  Add lettuce, black pepper, olive oil, extra vinegar, extra mayo.  Delightful.

What I miss: Sitting up quickly.  Now I grunt and groan if I was lying down and need to get up.

Milestones: It’s the last week of my 2^nd trimester!

Bump Check: Week 25

Are you there Heidi?  It’s me, Michelle.

For those of you that don’t know, Heidi Murkoff is the author of the well-known What to Expect When You’re Expecting book that seems to be a pregnancy staple.  She’s my homegirl.  She makes me feel not crazy when my body does weird things (apparently bleeding gums is normal) and she helps me anticipate that even weirder things are going to happen (Stinky vaginal discharge?  Awesome!).

Recently, I had a weird experience that Heidi had not warned me about at this stage of the game.  It wasn’t in my current chapter in the book nor did it appear on the iPhone app.  Here’s what happened. NOTE: This whole situation happened in about 3 seconds, but I went through 38 emotions in those 3 seconds.   

I was taking a nap one afternoon (gasp…what a shock), and was happily dozing in pregnancy dream bliss.  I was wearing my très chic maternity wear (aka another one of Dad’s Wolfe’s shirts a la 1976).  I awoke nestled in my ridiculous looking Boppy body pillow and was quite happy. As I shifted to a new position, I felt something wet on my shirt…right by my left boob.  Umm…excuse me?  “HEIDI?!?!  What is this????  This was NOT in the book yet.  Ewww ewww eww.  HEIDI!  I don’t like the word ‘discharge’.  Is this some type of ‘discharge’?”  After some further investigation of my pillow, as well as some sniffing, I quickly determined that this wasn’t creepy boob discharge, just drool.  Yup.  Drool.  Who drools on their boob?  I mean really.  Maybe it’s just getting so big that is migrates up by my face during nap time.  Who knows what those crazy things do while I’m asleep.  In addition, I may or may not have eaten some candy right before my nap, so the drool spot was all hard & sugary.  Awesome.  I’m so glad that all this weird stuff happens after a baby is conceived.  Can you imagine me turning to my husband pre-baby and asking him if he wants to make a baby?  Me…in my dad’s old t-shirt, underwear that doesn’t fit, and a giant drool stain on my shirt?  Bow chicka bow wow.

How far along: 25 weeks

Current fruit comparison: A 2lb eggplant!

Total weight gain/loss: Umm…[hangs head]…+19.  What?!  I just stepped on the scale for the first time in awhile.  I’m glad that my trip to HyVee today consisted of mostly fruits & veggies.  Bring on a healthier summer eating plan!

Sleep: Still good!  Just wet (see above).

Best moment this week: The whole week was spent in North Carolina at the beach with my family – perfection.

Movement: She seems busiest at night when I’m lying down.  I spent a few minutes every night just watching my belly move.

Food cravings: Well…at the beach this week, I ate a lot of pasta & ice cream, so that I guess?  Maybe that’s why I’m up 19lbs.  Sigh.

What I miss: Now that my first year of teaching is over, I miss going to work every morning.  Sike!  [Oooo, gotchya.]

Milestones: Scott claims he can see my linea nigra…weird.

Bump Check: Week 24

Bonjour, baby.  Bonjour, back pain.

Back pain, Phase I: About 2 months ago, I noticed a pinpointed pain in my middle back.  I figured it would go away, but alas, it did not.  I called my doctor, just to make sure this was nothing to worry about, and I was assured that is was probably just muscular pain from all of my ligaments and such shifting around.  Shortly after talking with my doctor, the pain got worse…bad enough that I bawled on the way home from dinner one night on the phone with Scott (What?  Me crying?  Nooooo….).  Fortunately, I found that one thing does make my back fill better – lying down.  This works great when I’m around a couch, but not so great when I’m at school.  Lucky for me, summer break has arrived!  Unfortunately for my students, there were a handful of times that I’d get them up and going on a project and then lay down on the floor of my classroom.  My students already comment on how weird I am, so this was no surprise to them. 

Back pain, Phase II: I went for a pre-natal massage with a delightful massage therapist.  I was, at first, slightly creeped out when she started massaging my stomach.  Imagine this, if you will.  You are lying naked on an elevated bed in a room with windows where the blinds are kind of shut.  You have a sheet over your lower half, and a sheet covering up your jubblies (or moobs [man boobs] if you’re a guy), and a stranger is slowly (perhaps seductively) rubbing lotion over your stomach.  This scenario could be one of three things: (1) extremely creepy/awkward (2) the start of a cheap porn called “Pre-natal Passions”, or (3) relaxing and comforting.  Lucky for me, the scenario was #3…oddly comforting.  After the massage, the therapist mentioned that part of what could be hurting me was having a rib out of place, and suggested to me a chiropractor that specializes in pre-natal, infant, and child chiropractics.  I called my doctor and she approved of the next phase on my back pain journey.  Join me…

Back pain, Phase III: I arrived at the chiropractor not knowing what to expect.  I’ve never been a knuckle/back popper, and I was a little leery of the idea.  I even asked my friend Kelsey (a chiropractic veteran) what to wear to the chiropractor.  She said anything, even jeans, but to avoid skirts or dresses so I don’t flash this nice chiropractor my naughty bits.  I’m sure everybody’s experience with a chiropractor is different, but I will say that this was not pleasant nor painful. I didn’t walk out feeling totally relieved and I never once felt hurt. I did, however, develop a crush on my lady chiropractor when she informed me that my spine was “pissed off”.  The chiropractor said to give it a few days and then call.  I went back in for a second treatment and she said that if the second visit didn’t fix it, she’d suggest a physical therapist.

Back pain, Phase IV [the final frontier]: My 24 week check up at the doctor was last week, so I mentioned to the doc that the chiropractor had suggested a physical therapist.  After some discussion, the doctor suggested I try a muscle relaxer, which she assured me was safe for the baby.  She said to take it for 48 hours to see if it made it feel any better.  Well, aside from possibly taking away some of the pain, the muscle relaxer also took away my personality.  No, seriously.  I was like a drone.  The weirdest part was that regular Michelle was still inside my head being quite social and slightly inappropriate (as usual), but outside Michelle looked like everything going on around her was the lamest thing she’s ever seen.  People would say things to me, I’d give them a one-word answer, and then regular Michelle in my head would be like, “You should have said more than that, but you didn’t.  You suck.  These people won’t be your friends for much longer.”  Then regular Michelle in my head probably cried about the thought of losing all of her friends to a lack-of-personality, but outside Michelle just sat and stared at the wall.  My sincerest apologies to Scott, my family, Kayla, Molly, Caleb, & Jason for witnessing Emotionless Michelle.  Please don't stop being my friend.

Back pain, conclusion: My muscle relaxer will sit in the medicine cabinet as a last resort.  I’ll take it before I climb a mountain, run a marathon, or build a house.  Other than that, I’d rather have regular Michelle on the inside and outside, who spends 80% of her life lying down.

P.S. Since I’m on summer break, feel free to come to my house and watch my lie on the couch.  It’s thrilling, I swear.

How far along: 24 weeks

Current fruit comparison: Eggplant (parmesan?)

Total weight gain/loss: I didn’t weigh myself this week…oops. J

Sleep: Still not an issue (knock on wood)

Best moment this week: The last day of school!

Movement: Yes, and I love it. I can’t wait for it to be harder for others to consistently feel.

Food cravings: Lemonade AND the cheese mix sandwich from Goodcents.  How did I not think of this before??  The best part of any Goodcents sandwich is obviously the mayo and lettuce mixture…and I can have it on a cheese sandwich.  Delightful. I’ve been 3 times in the last week.

Free food from students: I barely had any students, let alone free food.  I’ll be taking this category away for the next 2 months (oh darn).

What I miss: Jazzercise (what?!).  I can barely walk a block without my back hating me, let alone jump around and enjoy Jazzercise.

Milestones: My favorite baby tidbit from the What to Expect book this week tells me that baby girls nostrils had plugs in them until now.  She has nostrils!  I love it.  I can’t wait until we start sticking french fries up our noses together.