Bump Check: Week 27

If you’ve been around me for an extended period of time in the last couple of weeks, chances are you’ve heard me talk about the baby moving.  That’s because she moves pretty frequently and it still feels so weird (yet awesome)!  Don’t think that just because I’m the pregnant one that this is normal to me.  Imagine there was a small person rolling in your belly.  You would probably tell everybody about it too.

For a long time, I could only feel her kick or punch, but now I feel her move and tumble around too.  When Scott’s around and she’s moving a lot, I usually say to him, “She’s a busy girl,” or something to that effect.  Sometimes I ask Scott what he thinks she’s doing in there.  Some of his responses have included:

(1) “She’s doing some feng shui.”

(2) “She’s building an ark. I’d wondered where my lumber has been going.”

(3) “She’s updating her Twitter.”

Here are some of the things I like to imagine the baby is doing:

• Hanging up some framed pictures on my uterine wall
• Backing that thang up (à la a 1999 music video)
• Bowling (and my bladder is the one pin)
• Baking something for me…perhaps a delicious pie.  Mmmm….pie….

Also, if you’ve been around me for an extended period of time in the last, oh…3 months, surely you’ve heard me whine about my back/rib area and/or push my hand a lot on the top of my belly to make my rib feel a bit better.  The pain consumes my brain a lot and it makes me feel like a crazy pregnant lady.  I also feel crazy because no ladies I know personally have experienced this type of pregnancy pain, just a few random ladies on some pregnancy forums.  Though this isn’t true (and nobody in my life has made me feel this way), sometimes I tell myself that people around me think, “Suck it up Michelle.  You’re only 6 months pregnant.  Your second trimester is supposed to be the most comfortable.  This didn’t happen when my friend and cousin were pregnant.  Stop whining.” 

Then I remember what my pregnancy bible says – no two women's symptoms are the same…everybody is different.  I remembered this especially during this last weekend as we watched my father-in-law complete an Ironman triathlon in Coeur d’Alene, Idaho (where I felt especially guilty for whining about some rib pain…these people just swam 2.4 miles, biked 112 miles, and then topped it off with a marathon).  If everyone was created equal, all 2700 people completing the triathlon would have ended at exactly the same time and felt exactly the same way when they got to the finish line, but that’s just ridiculous (and would also make for a lot of elbows in the face during the event).  Variations in pregnancy bodies is no different – this 9 month journey is unique to each individual. 

As I sit here on the couch after a nap and some Ben & Jerry’s ice cream, I would like to reiterate how I just sort of compared being pregnant to being a triathlete, except instead of getting elbowed in the face while swimming in a freezing cold lake, I’m getting elbowed in the spleen while eating some freezing cold ice cream.  Very similar.

How far along: 27 weeks

Current fruit comparison: She’s 16” from head to toe and weights about 2.5lbs.  Apparently she’s as big as a head of cauliflower…with ranch dressing?

Total weight gain/loss: +20lbs, following another vacation getaway, I consider this a victory.

Sleep: Not a problem!  I hope this pattern continues.

Best moment this week: A wonderful mini-baby shower at Tortilla Jack’s with Amanda & Kelli (and Sarah in spirit)!  Also, baby’s last flight as a fetus.  I’m sure flying with an infant will be WAY easier than flying with a fetus (badum ching)!

Movement: Lots of movement. I try to take videos of my belly moving, but I think she gets camera shy.

Food cravings: Same old – Goodcents, pasta…really most things I craved before I was pregnant.

What I miss: Sitting without my torso feeling like it’s on fire.  Boo.

Milestones: Starting my 3^rd trimester!

Bump Check: Week 26

So we spent the first week of summer at the beach with my family, which was wonderful.  What was I dreading?  Putting all extra 19lbs of me in a bathing suit and strutting my stuff around a public beach.

Rewind to every time I swimsuit shopped prior to being pregnant: I’m sure I cried in the dressing room.  I’m also sure my mom has witnessed this every time.

Fast forward to maternity swimsuit shopping: I took my mom because moms know best and she doesn’t judge me when I try on swimsuits with spiky armpits.  We went to Destination Maternity in the One Nineteen shopping center.  [Side note: There are not very many cute maternity clothing stores.  I swear, there’s like 3 or so.  This place had some pretty cute stuff though.] 

I haven’t bought a two-piece swimming suit since 1997 (it was neon orange…jealous?).  Though my husband makes me feel wonderful about my pregnancy body, no amount of self-confidence could make me wear a two-piece swimming suit.  Tankinis also don’t work very well if you have love handles (and I do, thank you very much).  So Mom and I ended up focusing on one-piece maternity suits.  It seriously took only 2 minutes for my mood to change in that dressing room.  Normally, it only takes 2 minutes for me to start crying, but this time, it took 2 minutes and I was clapping with delight!  Probably starting in college, I would try on swimming suits, look in the mirror, and say, “Ugh, I look pregnant.”  This time as I shopped, I put on a swimming suit, looked in the mirror, and said, “Yay! I look pregnant!”  It made a huge difference in the process.  I’m sure I wasn’t really showing too much at the time we bought the swimming suit and most of my “baby belly” was just ranch dressing, but it made me feel better. 

Sorry to disappoint, but we don’t have a picture of me in my maternity suit from the beach.  Really, I don’t think I would have minded!  We just didn’t take many pictures, mostly because we did the same thing every day, so unless you want to see 10 pictures of me Sudokuing, 10 pictures of Scott napping, and 10 pictures of my family playing cards, then you can’t complain.  I can’t find my exact suit online anymore, but it sort of looks like this one, only my suit was $30, not $100.  Even better!  Oh, my suit also has ruffles on it, cause that’s how I roll.

In conclusion, maternity swimsuit shopping is SO much better than regular swimsuit shopping.  Talk to me about swimsuits in about a year.  I’ll probably punch you in the face…then cry.

Note: After Scott took this picture, I looked at it and said, "Oh my gosh. I'm REALLY pregnant!"

How far along: 26 weeks

Current fruit comparison: Now instead of measuring baby head to butt, we measure head to toe, so she’s 15” and 2.2lbs.  Supposedly she’s now a cucumber…but a 15” cucumber?  That’s just gross.

Total weight gain/loss: +19…no change from last week, which is great.  I don’t think my body wanted to gain weight that quickly.

Sleep: Pretty good…have to pee a lot now as baby gets bigger and naps on my bladder.  She’s totally worth it.

Best moment this week: The paras at the high school I worked out last year planned a surprise baby shower for me! I thought I was meeting up with this for lunch, but it was a shower (complete with a tiara for me).  Awesome.

Movement: She is super busy! I used to let Scott know every time I felt her move, but now I would be bothering him at work all day.  She’s busiest when I’m just sitting still.  I think she just gets used to me moving around and so when I stop, she’s like, “Hey lady!  Keep your butt in gear!”

Food cravings: Goodcents cheese mix sandwich on wheat with cheddar and provolone.  Add lettuce, black pepper, olive oil, extra vinegar, extra mayo.  Delightful.

What I miss: Sitting up quickly.  Now I grunt and groan if I was lying down and need to get up.

Milestones: It’s the last week of my 2^nd trimester!

Bump Check: Week 25

Are you there Heidi?  It’s me, Michelle.

For those of you that don’t know, Heidi Murkoff is the author of the well-known What to Expect When You’re Expecting book that seems to be a pregnancy staple.  She’s my homegirl.  She makes me feel not crazy when my body does weird things (apparently bleeding gums is normal) and she helps me anticipate that even weirder things are going to happen (Stinky vaginal discharge?  Awesome!).

Recently, I had a weird experience that Heidi had not warned me about at this stage of the game.  It wasn’t in my current chapter in the book nor did it appear on the iPhone app.  Here’s what happened. NOTE: This whole situation happened in about 3 seconds, but I went through 38 emotions in those 3 seconds.   

I was taking a nap one afternoon (gasp…what a shock), and was happily dozing in pregnancy dream bliss.  I was wearing my très chic maternity wear (aka another one of Dad’s Wolfe’s shirts a la 1976).  I awoke nestled in my ridiculous looking Boppy body pillow and was quite happy. As I shifted to a new position, I felt something wet on my shirt…right by my left boob.  Umm…excuse me?  “HEIDI?!?!  What is this????  This was NOT in the book yet.  Ewww ewww eww.  HEIDI!  I don’t like the word ‘discharge’.  Is this some type of ‘discharge’?”  After some further investigation of my pillow, as well as some sniffing, I quickly determined that this wasn’t creepy boob discharge, just drool.  Yup.  Drool.  Who drools on their boob?  I mean really.  Maybe it’s just getting so big that is migrates up by my face during nap time.  Who knows what those crazy things do while I’m asleep.  In addition, I may or may not have eaten some candy right before my nap, so the drool spot was all hard & sugary.  Awesome.  I’m so glad that all this weird stuff happens after a baby is conceived.  Can you imagine me turning to my husband pre-baby and asking him if he wants to make a baby?  Me…in my dad’s old t-shirt, underwear that doesn’t fit, and a giant drool stain on my shirt?  Bow chicka bow wow.

How far along: 25 weeks

Current fruit comparison: A 2lb eggplant!

Total weight gain/loss: Umm…[hangs head]…+19.  What?!  I just stepped on the scale for the first time in awhile.  I’m glad that my trip to HyVee today consisted of mostly fruits & veggies.  Bring on a healthier summer eating plan!

Sleep: Still good!  Just wet (see above).

Best moment this week: The whole week was spent in North Carolina at the beach with my family – perfection.

Movement: She seems busiest at night when I’m lying down.  I spent a few minutes every night just watching my belly move.

Food cravings: Well…at the beach this week, I ate a lot of pasta & ice cream, so that I guess?  Maybe that’s why I’m up 19lbs.  Sigh.

What I miss: Now that my first year of teaching is over, I miss going to work every morning.  Sike!  [Oooo, gotchya.]

Milestones: Scott claims he can see my linea nigra…weird.

Bump Check: Week 24

Bonjour, baby.  Bonjour, back pain.

Back pain, Phase I: About 2 months ago, I noticed a pinpointed pain in my middle back.  I figured it would go away, but alas, it did not.  I called my doctor, just to make sure this was nothing to worry about, and I was assured that is was probably just muscular pain from all of my ligaments and such shifting around.  Shortly after talking with my doctor, the pain got worse…bad enough that I bawled on the way home from dinner one night on the phone with Scott (What?  Me crying?  Nooooo….).  Fortunately, I found that one thing does make my back fill better – lying down.  This works great when I’m around a couch, but not so great when I’m at school.  Lucky for me, summer break has arrived!  Unfortunately for my students, there were a handful of times that I’d get them up and going on a project and then lay down on the floor of my classroom.  My students already comment on how weird I am, so this was no surprise to them. 

Back pain, Phase II: I went for a pre-natal massage with a delightful massage therapist.  I was, at first, slightly creeped out when she started massaging my stomach.  Imagine this, if you will.  You are lying naked on an elevated bed in a room with windows where the blinds are kind of shut.  You have a sheet over your lower half, and a sheet covering up your jubblies (or moobs [man boobs] if you’re a guy), and a stranger is slowly (perhaps seductively) rubbing lotion over your stomach.  This scenario could be one of three things: (1) extremely creepy/awkward (2) the start of a cheap porn called “Pre-natal Passions”, or (3) relaxing and comforting.  Lucky for me, the scenario was #3…oddly comforting.  After the massage, the therapist mentioned that part of what could be hurting me was having a rib out of place, and suggested to me a chiropractor that specializes in pre-natal, infant, and child chiropractics.  I called my doctor and she approved of the next phase on my back pain journey.  Join me…

Back pain, Phase III: I arrived at the chiropractor not knowing what to expect.  I’ve never been a knuckle/back popper, and I was a little leery of the idea.  I even asked my friend Kelsey (a chiropractic veteran) what to wear to the chiropractor.  She said anything, even jeans, but to avoid skirts or dresses so I don’t flash this nice chiropractor my naughty bits.  I’m sure everybody’s experience with a chiropractor is different, but I will say that this was not pleasant nor painful. I didn’t walk out feeling totally relieved and I never once felt hurt. I did, however, develop a crush on my lady chiropractor when she informed me that my spine was “pissed off”.  The chiropractor said to give it a few days and then call.  I went back in for a second treatment and she said that if the second visit didn’t fix it, she’d suggest a physical therapist.

Back pain, Phase IV [the final frontier]: My 24 week check up at the doctor was last week, so I mentioned to the doc that the chiropractor had suggested a physical therapist.  After some discussion, the doctor suggested I try a muscle relaxer, which she assured me was safe for the baby.  She said to take it for 48 hours to see if it made it feel any better.  Well, aside from possibly taking away some of the pain, the muscle relaxer also took away my personality.  No, seriously.  I was like a drone.  The weirdest part was that regular Michelle was still inside my head being quite social and slightly inappropriate (as usual), but outside Michelle looked like everything going on around her was the lamest thing she’s ever seen.  People would say things to me, I’d give them a one-word answer, and then regular Michelle in my head would be like, “You should have said more than that, but you didn’t.  You suck.  These people won’t be your friends for much longer.”  Then regular Michelle in my head probably cried about the thought of losing all of her friends to a lack-of-personality, but outside Michelle just sat and stared at the wall.  My sincerest apologies to Scott, my family, Kayla, Molly, Caleb, & Jason for witnessing Emotionless Michelle.  Please don't stop being my friend.

Back pain, conclusion: My muscle relaxer will sit in the medicine cabinet as a last resort.  I’ll take it before I climb a mountain, run a marathon, or build a house.  Other than that, I’d rather have regular Michelle on the inside and outside, who spends 80% of her life lying down.

P.S. Since I’m on summer break, feel free to come to my house and watch my lie on the couch.  It’s thrilling, I swear.

How far along: 24 weeks

Current fruit comparison: Eggplant (parmesan?)

Total weight gain/loss: I didn’t weigh myself this week…oops. J

Sleep: Still not an issue (knock on wood)

Best moment this week: The last day of school!

Movement: Yes, and I love it. I can’t wait for it to be harder for others to consistently feel.

Food cravings: Lemonade AND the cheese mix sandwich from Goodcents.  How did I not think of this before??  The best part of any Goodcents sandwich is obviously the mayo and lettuce mixture…and I can have it on a cheese sandwich.  Delightful. I’ve been 3 times in the last week.

Free food from students: I barely had any students, let alone free food.  I’ll be taking this category away for the next 2 months (oh darn).

What I miss: Jazzercise (what?!).  I can barely walk a block without my back hating me, let alone jump around and enjoy Jazzercise.

Milestones: My favorite baby tidbit from the What to Expect book this week tells me that baby girls nostrils had plugs in them until now.  She has nostrils!  I love it.  I can’t wait until we start sticking french fries up our noses together.